The Art of Living

Happiness and personal fulfillment are the natural consequences of doing the right thing.

Serenity

His prescription for the good life centered on three main themes: mastering your desires, performing your duties, and learning to think clearly about yourself and your relations within the larger community of humanity.

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not.

Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours. If you do this, you will be impervious to coercion and no one can ever hold you back.

When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it. What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.

Don’t try to make your own rules.

It is not so much what you are doing as how you are doing it.

Don’t dread death or pain; dread the fear of death or pain. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.

When we suffer setbacks, disturbances, or grief, let us never place the blame on others, but on our own attitudes.

Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to be gained in blaming, whether it be others or oneself.

Don’t demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.

By accepting life’s limits and inevitabilities and working with them rather than fighting them, we become free. If, on the other hand, we succumb to our passing desires for things that aren’t in our control, freedom is lost.

Remember to discriminate between events themselves and your interpretations of them. Remind yourself: “What hurts this person is not the occurrence itself, for another person might not feel oppressed by this situation at all. What is hurting this person is the response he or she has uncritically adopted.”

Wherever you find yourself and in whatever circumstances, give an impeccable performance.

Assume, instead, that everything that happens to you does so for some good. That if you decided to be lucky, you are lucky. All events contain an advantage for you—if you look for it!

Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.

Stop aspiring to be anyone other than your own best self: for that does fall within your control.

When anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.

If I can get rich and powerful while preserving my own honor, faithfulness to family, friends, principles, and self-respect, show me how and I’ll do it. But if I have to sacrifice my personal integrity, it’s stupid and silly to urge me on.

Those who “win” at something have no real advantage over you, because they had to pay the price for the reward. It is always our choice whether or not we wish to pay the price for life’s rewards. And often it is best for us not to pay the price, for the price might be our integrity.

By considering the big picture, you distinguish yourself from the mere dabbler, the person who plays at things as long as they feel comfortable or interesting. This is not noble.

Subordinate reason to their feelings of the moment are actually slaves of their desires and aversions.

Faithfulness is not blind belief; it consists of steadfastly practicing the principle of shunning those things which are not within your control, leaving them to be worked out according to the natural system of responsibilities. Cease trying to anticipate or control events. Instead accept them with grace and intelligence.

When considering the future, remember that all situations unfold as they do regardless of how we feel about them. Our hopes and fears sway us, not events themselves.

Never Suppress a Generous Impulse

Write down who you’re trying to be, so that you can refer to this self-definition. Precisely describe the demeanor you want to adopt so that you may preserve it when you are by yourself or with other people.

You become what you give your attention to. We become small-minded if we engage in discussion about other people.

If you have the opportunity to meet with an important person, don’t be nervous. Invoke the characteristics of the people you admire most and adopt their manners, speech, and behavior as your own. There is nothing false in this. We all carry the seeds of greatness within us, but we need an image as a point of focus in order that they may sprout. At the same time, just because you are meeting a person of great merit doesn’t mean you should be overly awed. People are just people, regardless of their talent or influence.

If people reach conclusions based on false impressions, they are the ones hurt rather than you, because it is they who are misguided.

Assiduously

Name the situation as it is; don’t filter it through your judgments.

Do not risk being beguiled by appearances and constructing theories and interpretations based on distortions through misnaming.

Let your ideas and plans incubate before you parade them in front of the naysayers and trivializers. Most people only know how to respond to an idea by pouncing on its shortfalls rather than identifying its potential merits.

The really worthwhile things are the virtuous activities that make up the happy life, not the external means that may seem to produce it.